I have found that you get what you put into conference. Sometimes the lessons aren't things we need right then and we don't hear them. There are times when I may be feeling down and remember something I heard and then think, wow, that's what he must have meant. Sometimes I feel like a talk was written just for me. Sometimes maybe years from now I will need to hear what was said. Sometimes its the guy next to me that needed that message, who knows maybe he is struggling with something I don't know about and the talk will help him out.
When I feel like, "this is good but its not for me," are the times that I've chosen to put myself out of the spire of influence of the spirit so to speak. If that makes since. For instance, when I first heard Elder Bednar talk about how "we should" pray, I got a bit resentful and thought "how dare he tell me how to talk to my Father in Heaven, what right does he have?" Then I realized that I was letting pride take control and I tried it Saturday night. Wow. What an amazing experience. You know the more I prayed about the things I felt blessed with, the more I realized how many answers we did have and I also realized that sometimes the reason I felt so alone and lost was because I was the one who didn't want to accept them. It reminded me of what one of the Seventy said, "We can choose to walk with God or walk in some other direction."
The concept that "we don't know all, but we know enough" really touched me. I don't know all the answers but I do know enough. And the concept of "come what may" was one that I really do need to apply in my life. I may not know why things happen the way they do, but I can choose to act or react. Learn some valuable lessons or feel bad for myself and be the victim.
I've always loved General Conference. I like to attend it live, but sometimes I will be the first to admit that while I get a boost out of being around so many people who believe the way I do, and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir is good for an energy boost of the spirit, sometimes I wonder if I get all I should out of it. Because this time I wasn't in Utah and watched it at home, I decided to try an experiment. I prayed about it and asked the Lord to help me find one thing in each talk that I could use. I also made a point of staying off the internet and such so I could concentrate on Conference and not just have it on while I'm doing stuff. This was hard LOL! I do think I got more out of it this time 800 miles away then I did last April being in the Conference Center.
We are so blessed. We have so many answers that the world is struggling to find. When it comes to the topic of homosexuality we have the understanding of why acting on it is really a sin. For us its not a matter of "because it's sick or perverted" we understand how it will frustrate the Lords plan of salvation for us. How it would prevent us from gaining exhalation. Elder Nelson touched on this so beautifully. It is simple. We understand why marrige is central to the Fathers plan and why same gender marrige is so detrimental to it. These things are all very clear, and what is even more clear is how Satan will use everything in his power to get us to forget these truths, to feel sorry for ourselves, to lament what we are being ask to sacrifice and to feel like we are giving up part of who we are in order to be faithful.
I honestly feel that when we are converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ, that His way will outshine any other way. But I also know that if we dwell on what we wish could be, it is very easy for us to see other paths and then to further confuse the situation by convincing ourselves that while the gospel is a good path, it isn't for us. We do this because lets face it, we are good people and we want to be happy and we aren't specifically doing this to mock God, we are just acting on what feels right. The problem is that when it starts to feel right is about the time we have lost the spirit that tells us its not right.
I know some of this is hard to hear, believe me its hard to accept on a personal level. But its true. Before the answers we get will help us out, we need to be willing to accept them, even if we don't like them.