Highjacking a victims memory

It also rubs me the wrong way the way these so called "LDS," gay affirming groups evoke the name of Stuart Matis to play their "political card" in their efforts to lobby the church to change doctrine so that acting on homosexuality is no longer considered a sin.

This is just my opinion, but I don't know and I don't think anyone can really know what was going through Stuarts mind when he made that final tragic decision to end his life. For anyone to say they do is out of place. Yes, he may have left letters, but I don't think anyone can fully understand the thoughts that drove him to it. The closet thing that I can say is that I can relate to the frustration he felt as he struggled to live his life in a way that he believed pleased Heavenly Father, weighed against feelings and attractions that are real, but if acted on conflict with those beliefs. Many of us have been in that same desperate moment, but I think its also an individual experience. To say he did it because of Prop. 22 or anything else I think is really speculation or subjecture on the part of those who are trying to use him to lobby support for their own cause.

It is out of place on many facets. First, because now its between him and Heavenly Father and the Savior, who is the only one who can fully understand him. Secondly, I think that it is really cruel to his family when his name is shanghai-ed by people who never met him or who have only had limited contact with him but claim to be close friends with him. I personally believe that common decency would dictate that it is inappropriate for these groups to post suicide notes and letters as a means to "fight for a cause" when one would wonders if he would really have supported them in the first place, but who have used him as a means to evoke sympathy for their cause.

In addition, for these same groups to use the actions of a small misguided group of church members who do act inappropriately out of intolerance to judge the doctrine and main body of the church as intolerant is rather like judging every gay person by the sick displays of debauchery seen at many pride events.

Yes, I do believe that the Prophet was speaking on behalf of the Lord when in both cases he asked us to give our time, talents and best efforts to support Prop. 22 and in Prop. 8. Just because it may make me uncomfortable because it hits a personal cord in me, doesn't make the voice of the Prophet any less real or valid. But I also do believe that in so doing we also needed to show forth as much love and compassion for those who do struggle and not to be motivated by hatred and intolerance for people who do choose to use their agency in a way that goes against what we have been taught by the Lord through the Prophet to be correct.

I don't think anyone who struggles with SGA was happy that the church was involved in Prop. 22 or Prop. 8. in California. I'm not happy that the church has to get involved in anti-pornography campaigns or in programs that promote adoptions over abortions, but I also understand that sometimes it is necessary for the church to get involved in moral issues that do effect society as a whole and marriage is just that.

The Storm Over the Mormons

It looks like the LDS Church has found itself in the pages of Time Magazine again. Enjoy!
The Storm Over the Mormons

Some Inspired Words Concerning Prop 8

Concerning Prop. 8 in California, here are a few quotes from church leaders.

First Presidency Letter read to all congregations in California on 29 June 2008 reads in part:

"The Church’s teachings and position on this moral issue are unequivocal. Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, and the formation of families is central to the Creator’s plan for His children. Children are entitled to be born within this bond of marriage.

"We ask that you do all you can to support the proposed constitutional amendment by donating of your means and time to assure that marriage in California is legally defined as being between a man and a woman. Our best efforts are required to preserve the sacred institution of marriage."

Elder Neal A. Maxwell speaking before an audience at Brigham Young University said:

"Discipleship includes good citizenship; and in this connection, if you are careful students of the statements of the modern prophets, you will have noticed that with rare exceptions–especially when the First Presidency has spoken out–the concerns expressed have been over moral issues, not issues between political parties. The declarations are about principles, not people, and causes, not candidates.

"But make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters; in the months and years ahead, events will require of each member that he or she decide whether or not he or she will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions (see 1 Kings 18:21)

"President Marion G. Romney said, many years ago, that he had “never hesitated to follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional, or political life” (CR, April 1941, p. 123). This is a hard doctrine, but it is a particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ.

"We are now entering a period of incredible ironies. Let us cite but one of these ironies which is yet in its subtle stages: we shall see in our time a maximum if indirect effort made to establish irreligion as the state religion. It is actually a new form of paganism that uses the carefully preserved and cultivated freedoms of Western civilization to shrink freedom even as it rejects the value essence of our rich Judeo-Christian heritage.

"This new irreligious imperialism seeks to disallow certain of people’s opinions simply because those opinions grow out of religious convictions. Resistance to abortion will soon be seen as primitive. Concern over the institution of the family will be viewed as untrendy and unenlightened."

President Gordon B. Hinckley said in his conference talk “Loyalty:”

“Now may I say a word concerning loyalty to the Church. We see much indifference. There are those who say, ‘The Church won’t dictate to me how to think about this, that, or the other, or how to live my life.’

"No, I reply, the Church will not dictate to any man how he should think or what he should do. The Church will point out the way and invite every member to live the gospel and enjoy the blessings that come of such living. The Church will not dictate to any man, but it will counsel, it will persuade, it will urge, and it will expect loyalty from those who profess membership therein.

"When I was a university student, I said to my father on one occasion that I felt the General Authorities had overstepped their prerogatives when they advocated a certain thing. He was a very wise and good man. He said, ‘The President of the Church has instructed us, and I sustain him as prophet, seer, and revelator and intend to follow his counsel.’

"I have now served in the general councils of this Church for 45 years. I have served as an Assistant to the Twelve, as a member of the Twelve, as a Counselor in the First Presidency, and now for eight years as President. I want to give you my testimony that although I have sat in literally thousands of meetings where Church policies and programs have been discussed, I have never been in one where the guidance of the Lord was not sought nor where there was any desire on the part of anyone present to advocate or do anything which would be injurious or coercive to anyone.

"The book of Revelation declares: ‘I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. ‘So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth’ (Rev. 3:15–16).

“I make you a promise, my dear brethren, that while I am serving in my present responsibility I will never consent to nor advocate any policy, any program, any doctrine which will be otherwise than beneficial to the membership of this, the Lord’s Church.

“This is His work. He established it. He has revealed its doctrine. He has outlined its practices. He created its government. It is His work and His kingdom, and He has said, ‘They who are not for me are against me’ (2 Ne. 10:16).

“In 1933 there was a movement in the United States to overturn the law which prohibited commerce in alcoholic beverages. When it came to a vote, Utah was the deciding state.

“I was on a mission, working in London, England, when I read the newspaper headlines that screamed, “Utah Kills Prohibition. President Heber J. Grant, then President of this Church, had pleaded with our people against voting to nullify Prohibition. It broke his heart when so many members of the Church in this state disregarded his counsel.

"On this occasion I am going to talk of uncompromising loyalty to the Church. Each of us has to face the matter—either the Church is true, or it is a fraud. There is no middle ground. It is the Church and kingdom of God, or it is nothing."

From http://www.divideasunder.org/2008/12/proposition-8/

The Proposition 8 Ruling: What It Means

What did the court decide?
The court ruled against opponents of Proposition 8 and upheld traditional marriage. The key issue before the court was whether Proposition 8 was an amendment or a revision to the state constitution.

A revision is a fundamental alteration of California's governmental structure. A revision requires a 2/3 approval by the legislature before heading to voters. The court agreed with Proposition 8 supporters that the ballot measure was a valid amendment, not a revision. The simple 14-word insertion of the traditional decision of marriage does not fundamentally change the structure of government.

This ruling was a victory for the democratic process and the people's ability to change our governing documents. While Proposition 8 was upheld, it was also subverted by the ruling. In recognizing the 18,000 same-sex unions performed last year, the court undercut the constitution, which clearly states that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

What about the same-sex marriages performed last summer?
Last May the California Supreme Court overturned Proposition 22, declaring it unconstitutional. Since Proposition 22 was not placed in the constitution, but simply in state law, the court contended that it violated the state's ultimate law, the constitution. Six months later, voters approved Proposition 8, which placed the true definition of marriage in the state constitution, thus superseding the court's ruling. In that six month window, an estimated 18,000 same-sex unions were performed in the state.

The court placed itself in the untenable position of upholding the people's ability to defend traditional marriage and extending marriage rights to same-sex couples. In the end, the court reluctantly agreed Proposition 8 was a valid constitutional amendment, but it held to its social engineering by validating the marriages performed last summer.

The court ruled that Proposition 8 did not contain a "retroactivity provision" and therefore any marriages performed before it took effect were valid. The ruling held that voters did not intend to invalidate existing same-sex marriages, and neither Proposition 8's language nor any voter guide information would lead voters to believe that existing same-sex marriages would be invalidated should Proposition 8 pass. This is an attempt by the court to find a legal loophole in order to placate those they wronged last year by impatiently and imprudently declaring same-sex marriage legal before voters had their say on Proposition 8.

Will same-sex marriages outside of California be recognized?
In the last footnote of the majority opinion, the court indicates it is open to hearing a case on whether same-sex marriages performed outside the state during the six-month window last summer may also be recognized in California. It is doubtful that such marriages would be recognized, especially not until such a legal challenge is brought forward. However, the court does seem to invite such a challenge, and based on their illogical justification for recognizing the 18,000 existing same-sex unions, justices seem amenable to the idea of recognizing out-of-state unions.

Does this mean the fight over marriage is over?
Not at all. Even before the ruling was handed by the court, homosexual activists were organizing and planning their next steps. Already, there is a movement to place a repeal of Proposition 8 on the ballot in 2010. Rallies, protests and demonstrations are scheduled all across the state as opponents of Proposition 8 express their anger.
The day after the ruling was handed down, two lawyers announced they had filed a federal challenge to Proposition 8. Former Solicitor General (under President George W. Bush) Ted Olson and David Boies, who were opponents in the historic Bush v. Gore case of 2000, jointly filed the lawsuit. The suit alleges Proposition 8 violates the United States Constitution's Fourteenth Amendment guarantees of equal protection and due process. On behalf of an Alameda lesbian couple and Los Angeles gay couple, the suit requests an immediate injunction to stop the enforcement of Proposition 8.

There does seem to be some division amongst homosexual groups, as several have denounced the lawsuit, preferring instead to try the issue at the ballot box again. Homosexual advocacy organization Equality California is already laying the groundwork for a statewide ballot initiative to make same-sex marriage legal. If it qualifies, such a measure could appear on the 2010 or 2012 ballot.

We must remain vigilant because the battle for marriage has just begun.

Capital Resource Institute 2009

LDS Church Response to CA Supreme Court Decision on Prop. 8

SALT LAKE CITY - Today’s decision by the California Supreme Court is welcome. The issue the court decided was whether California citizens validly exercised their right to amend their own constitution to define marriage as between a man and a woman. The court has overwhelmingly affirmed their action.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recognizes the deeply held feelings on both sides, but strongly affirms its belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman. The bedrock institution of marriage between a man and a woman has profound implications for our society. These implications range from what our children are taught in schools to individual and collective freedom of religious expression and practice.

Accordingly, the Church stands firmly for what it believes is right for the health and well-being of society as a whole. In doing so, it once again affirms that all of us are children of God, and all deserve to be treated with respect. The Church believes that serious discussion of these issues is not helped when extreme elements on both sides of the debate demonize the other.

What we do need to do more as a Church

I was asked the other day how can the Church do better with the whole SGA issue. I looked back to my life growing up and how I felt and what I believed. I think there may have been some confusion on my part about what was doctrine and what wasn't. A lot of times growing up I did feel alone and isolated. I did feel unloved and confused and scared to ask for help. But I also think it was because things weren't explained. I do think its getting better now.

This is the one area in which I will agree that the church can do more. I do think that it is time for the church to teach or provide guidance to leaders of youth about this topic. I do think that including support material in future editions of "For the Strength of Youth" would make this material more readily available.

I know that I had friends who bought "In Quiet Desperation" removed the cover and read it as if they were reading a dirty magazine making sure to hide it when they left home. I think when young people feel they have to resort to measures like that we do have some issues.

I know how I was raised. I know I was told that homosexuality was a sin and that it was a choice. That people choose to be this way not that people choose to act out. What I wasn't told was that it was "acting on it" that was the choice not the feelings. For a long time I believed that since it was a choice if I wanted it to go away I could choose for those feelings to go. They didn't. Growing up I often felt as if I was the only guy in the church who felt this way and to make it rough I was the only Mormon in my high school so I really didn't fit in anywhere.

It didn't help that I was overweight, wore glasses and was socially awkward. I didn't like sports and was into art and stuff like that.

Many times I would have loved to be talk to someone I felt I could trust. But I always felt that if I did tell someone how I felt that I would be deemed perverted and evil and that I would be excommunicated. And yes while those feelings and a lack of anyone around that I was aware of, kept me from acting out. I did feel really alone and isolated and at times would come home from school, going into my room and begging God to take me away and let me die. Many times all I craved was a best friend.

I went to EFY and that made me realize that I wasn't alone and I made a promise to God that if I served a mission he would help me deal with these feelings.

So my mission came and when the bishop asked me all those questions about "had I" I could honestly say no. But at the same time I felt that because I "wanted to or had wanted to" that I was just as bad. So I felt I had lied my way into the field.

One evening I woke up, there were supposed to be 8 people in our dorm rooms and I realized I was alone. This was odd. But I was feeling troubled. I got on my knees and plead with God and said "I don't know if I should be here or if in serving unfaithfully I'm damning myself, but I have a willing heart and I want to be an instrument in this work, so if you want me I'm yours." I can't describe the peace I felt at that point. I stood up and walked over to the window to see the Provo Temple seemingly floating in the nights sky. I then realized that I was alone and went to find all the other elders in my district. I found them, in the bathroom all crying about how unworthy they were and how they all needed to go home. I spend the rest of the night comforting them, hugging them and getting them all built up. This was one of the most meaningful experiences for me because all these Elders were sure they were unworthy and all of them really were, they just doubted themselves.

So I served, did my part. Hope that I did some good. Came home still liked guys. But I had gained something I didn't have before I left. A real testimony of the gospel and the atonement not just a belief in God. I understood what was real and what was and what wasn't a sin.

In some ways I was grateful that I didn't have the influences of the internet growing up. I know I may have found support like North Star but at the same time I fear what I would have also found when I was desperate to feel loved and accepted. I think the net is a double edge sword.

A few years after my mission I happened upon this yahoo group (pre North Star) and it was the first REAL exposure I had had to those who struggled with same gender attraction who wanted to be faithful. Before that I didn't know they existed. This has been a great comfort to me.

I am grateful for the things that the church has developed since I was a youth. I hope that the leaders can start using them to reach out to those who are struggling before these young people reach out to groups with other agendas who provide information and support that does try to normalize it in their minds. When someone feels alone and unaccepted they will go to where the comfort is.

I think this is one area that those of us who have been there or who may now even be there can reach out and support and love.

So now I'm 36, still overweight, but a lot smarter. I know what I believe and I know what is real. I have a testimony of what I need to do. I try to reach out the best I can to those whom I can. I am single. I am opinionated but my heart is in the right place. Now all I can do is be an example of what I just said. I can try to be part of the solution.

Remember the Duck?

A boy and a girl were sent to the country to spend the summer with grandparents. When they got there the young boy was give a slingshot. He would go out into the woods and practice shooting at everything and pretty much missing everything.

One day he was heading home for dinner when he walked into the barnyard and say his grandmothers pet duck. He decided to take aim at it and to his surprise and almost immediate horror, this time he hit the poor duck square on the head. It was a dead duck.

So he quickly picked up the duck and hid it behind the woodpile but as he was doing this he realized his sister was witness to the whole things. She didn't say anything, just walked by him and smiled.

That night after dinner grandma said "Well Jenny if you can help me do the dishes we'll be all done." To which Jenny replied, "I'd love to but Billy said he wanted to help you with the dishes tonight." He looked at her and she whispered, "Remember the duck."

This went on all week with Billy doing all his chores and Jenny's also.

That Saturday grandpa came in and said "Billy and Jenny lets go fishing." Grandma then said that she needed help with some work she was doing and said that Jenny needed to stay at home and help her. But Jenny said that Billy had expressed a desire to help with the chore. She looked at him and mouthed "Remember the duck." So he stayed behind and Jenny went fishing with grandpa.

Finally the lying and deception and the extra chores became too much for poor Billy and he finally confessed to Grandma about the fate of the duck. Grandma gave him a hug and said that she already knew about it, she had been at the window and had witnessed the whole thing. She looked at Billy and said that she was waiting to see just how long he would allow himself to be a prisoner of his sisters.

*****************

I really liked this story because I wonder how many times I've allowed myself to be a prisoner of something that I did wrong and I allowed Satan to tell me to "remember the duck." And just like in the story Heavenly Father has seen all things, I can't hide the duck behind the wood pile. He's knows its there. I think this is a good story to share with those who allow themselves to be prisoners. I know its been me a few times.