Thursday, May 15, 2008

I'm not a mean person!

I know I can sometimes come off as judgmental and mean. What I think that a lot of people forget is that I struggle just as hard as the next person. I have my issues. I'm not perfect. A lot of what I say are things I need to hear myself.

Someone told me the other day that I sometimes go about it the wrong way. I thought about that, what is the right way?

Thats a hard one. Its one I've been pondering. Its not easy. I think sometimes however perception is what determines a lot of what we think is persecution. Its like the difference between a sermon and kind advice from a friend who has been there. I think again its the way we take it.

People talk about support. What we consider support is a funny thing. Support should hold us up as we grow, not enable us to make mistakes and feel okay with them. Real support is firm and sometimes not always what we want to hear if it goes against what we want. Then it becomes preachy and we don't want to listen.

Its ironic how many of the more gay friendly bloggers can offer support such as: "Be true to your self and your feelings, stop letting the church control your life, the church has it wrong, its just old men who don't understand, God wants you to be happy and being gay will make you happy." And its okay. Its not preachy, its supportive.

But if someone stands up for what they believe is Gods side. The side they believe is true they are often attacked. Told not to judge, to take the beam out of your own eye, its not your place to judge, etc. etc. etc.

The problem is that if you do care about someone you don't want them to be hurt and you know that some things will hurt them. I honestly do care about people.

I think we sometimes like to isolate ourselves from feeling bad. I am terribly sorry if I've ever come off as mean or hate filled. That isn't the case. I feel bad if people think that. But on the other hand I won't be the sort of friend who tells you what you want to hear just to make you feel better about yourself if I know in the long run it will lead you to falling away. I won't be party to that.

5 comments:

Superstar said...

In my opinion, support should be something someone requests, like when I call a software company for technical support.

Sometimes your "support" is more like a software company that hounds its customers by calling to proffer unsolicited criticism all the while failing to even listen to the customer and then terming it support.

Talk about something else sometimes. Hi, how was your day? Go Lakers! What kind of car do you really want to get? How is your mom?

Hearing how evil all of the sinners are, and listening to the gossip about what everyone else is doing wrong, just sucks. I think if you could apply the tithing rule here and cut the criticism down to 10 percent instead of 95 percent, you'll be doing fine. Even the Lord won't ask you for more than that.

robert said...

"But if someone stands up for what they believe is Gods side. The side they believe is true they are often attacked. Told not to judge, to take the beam out of your own eye, its not your place to judge, etc. etc. etc."
Practice not judging...seems like good advice.
"The problem is that if you do care about someone you don't want them to be hurt and you know that some things will hurt them."
How can you know if someone will be hurt? Perhaps they require an experience in order to grow.

A CROW'S VIEW said...

Robert, I've so far not moderated your comments, but the only thing that keeps your from being anynomous is that you have a first name. There is no info about you in your blog and there is a lot in mine. You comment a lot and say you want to get to know me. But h'm not seeing how that is possible. Please send more info.

playasinmar said...

Next: Post something declaring your humility.

draco said...

I don't just tell people what they want to hear- I tell them what I believe. I believe that God does not favor the LDS church above any other and that he fully approves of homosexual relationships. I believe this just as firmly as you believe that the LDS church is the one true church and that homosexual relationships are sinful. My support is not shallow or any less valid than yours.