One other thing that I worry about a lot is the difference in perceptions people have between being honest and judging. And what they think of about me. I've come to the conclusion that the when the Savior said not to judge what he meant was not to condemn. Having standards means judging. Standing up for whats right means to judge. We have to judge in order to decide which side to be on and what is right and wrong.
Its been my expirence from dealing with a lot of guys who struggle is that when we are being faithful and hear advice, council and support and we are humble and open to the spirit, it confirms to us what is true and we take it as uplifting and comforting. If we are right with the Lord council from the prophet and apostles is uplifting and beautiful. We simply can't get enough.
But when we drift to the other side what used to comfort us troubles us and we resent it. The spirit has left us, replaced with pride and we see it as an attack on our self and "who we are." We reject those who do speak truth and search after those who affirm us and our choices. We don't think what the church says "fits us." I think thats why so many people have reacted negatively to the new pamphlet, its not what they want to hear. They are spiritually malnourished and seek to fill their hunger pains with food from another kitchen.
There are a few who are striving to be faithful but who feel the council isn't for them. They are exceptions so they put themselves on diets and only consume the bits and pieces they want not ever really enjoying the full feast and not getting the full nourishment that the gospel promises them.
I'm torn between wanting to help honestly and just wanting to comfort at times. I want people to like me. So I'm torn. Do I keep my mouth shut and not say anything knowing that I'm repressing what I'm feeling prompted by the spirit to say. Or do I say what I know is right and risk losing their friendship as they think I no longer support them. I wonder when comfort turns to coddling and becomes detrimental. And yes a part of it is also that I don't know all the answers and I do need to be more loving and understanding.
I know we have to be patient and loving and realize that each of us are following our own path. Sometime we need to soften the message without watering down the doctrine because it would offend the over sensitive people. Sometimes I worry about being too honest. But sometimes I worry if we aren't being honest enough.