Tuesday, August 7, 2007

What is friendship?

What is friendship? Does it mean anything to anyone anymore? Or is it just a relative concept? Something to avoid if it becomes more then causal or superficial.

How can you be friends with someone and after years of prayers, conversations and warm feelings, find out that the person doesn't really like you or feels that they really don't feel like they know you or want to know you? What do factors of location, common struggles and opinions have to play into this?

Why do people feel they have to hurt people to feel better about not feeling like they need to a friend? Why do they feel that they have to say things like "Do you know why NOBODY likes you?" or "Do you realize what EVERYONE really thinks about you?" Does this make them happy because they can remind the other person of their flaws that make them unworthy of their friendship? Does it bring them joy to let the person in on what EVERYONE thinks about them behind their back? Does it make them feel good to remind someone of things that the know but are trying hard to bottle up and forget? Does knowing that EVERYONE feels the same about someone make treating that someone like less than a person ok?

Are friends merely allies in a battle? Is is possible to be friends with someone that you don't agree with?

Why is it so hard to find someone who can look past flaws and inperfections? Why is it that when you think you have and you have been there for someone unconditionally over and over that if they get mad at you they can't do the same. How can we ever expect the Savior to forgive us if we can't forgive others likewise.

Are there some people who don't deserve friendships? Who are so flawed that it would be better if they just didn't voice their opinion, or put themselves out there? Are there things that make us better than these people? Should these people just accept that they are unlovable and seek happiness on their own?

Is it that what we think as support is really seen as judgment or conditional love? Why can't people accept that some of the things that a person does are imperfect, but real attempt to be faithful and be strong? That they may actually be worried about something they feel may be harmful to them. And love that person anyways. Why do we get so wrapped up in our own problems that others who struggle with things become burdens to us.

Is it because we are all so emotinaly flawed or afried of being hurt that we don't want to reach out to others? Are we so drawn to perfection that we are unable to accept it in others in order not to be reminded constantly that we too are imperfect? Does it make us clingy and needy when we feel alone and try to reach out to someone that has inspired us? Why do we put boundaries up to some and build bridges to others.

Why is it easier to say that a person has boundary issues then to really try to understand them and why they act the way they do? Is it that we are afraid to see things in them that we don't want to see in ourselves?

How can we say we are Chirstlike and live on the hope that his mercy will be enough to forgive us and save us, if we won't do that for someone else? What would happen if this was how Christ loved us?

When we apologize to a person is it more to make us feel better about who we are or is it to truly heal the other person. When we say we love someone is it because we do really care about someone or is it because we believe that because the Savior tells us we have to? Afterwards do we truly seek to get to know the the other person looking past the forgiven offense.

I guess maybe somewhere along the way I've missed out on this lesson. I guess I'm flawed cause I'm asking myself these questions or maybe I'm one of these people. I think we are feel like we are at some point.

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